Mary Angel

(2/2022) When my kids were young, very young, we began to potty train them. I remember discussing this process with another mom who told me to get the book ‘Everybody Poops’ by Taro Gomi. She said some kids have a lot of anxiety about pooping. I began to laugh but found out rather quickly she was very serious. Apparently, some kids are worried about letting go of a part of themselves, and worse yet flushing that part of them. I never had this problem with my kids, although one of them didn’t want to take the time so he would stand in a corner and turn beet red trying not to go so he didn’t miss out on anything (but that is a tale for another month). The moral of this story is that anxiety is real and it can occur at any age.

This is an obvious fact as we all live through a pandemic. What better time to develop anxiety than when you are living in a world so divided? Our kids have spent an entire year trying to navigate school that has been in-person, virtual and many combinations in between. Many of them have found anxiety over grades, relationships, and even losing a loved one to COVID. As parents we are certainly not immune to anxiety; I know many moms who have such worry and concern for their kids that they experience the same struggles as their children.

On top of all of this, while our kids were at home doing school they were on electronic devices and social media even more than they were before. Social media, the place to go when you want to feel even more insecure, awkward, and ostracized!

So what are kids and parents alike to do to combat the daily anxieties that can creep up so quickly and overtake your every thought? Well, I am no psychologist, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express (what does that even mean). I have no idea what that means, but it is a great example of something that helps me offset the everyday worries of life: humor. Whether I watch a comedy on television or joke around with my husband, humor has a way of releasing endorphins that just lighten my mood. Humor can come in the form of a family game in my house. When you live with a bunch of goofballs, games have a tendency to turn comical pretty quickly. If your family isn’t as naturally ridiculous as mine, might I suggest playing Jackbox. We discovered this at the beginning of the pandemic, when everything was shut down, and have been playing it regularly ever since. You don’t have to be a comedian at all for your inner Kevin Hart to come out when you are playing Joke Boat, Trivia Murder Party, or Role Models.

If you are trying to combat the onset of anxiousness, don’t overlook the tried and true methods. Meditation is always a good relaxer. There are many different books and websites that can give you guidelines on how to meditate. You might also find a quiet place to listen to music or try some deep breathing exercises. A spa day can do wonders for many people, anything from manis and pedis to massages would qualify. For some people, reading a good book can take their mind off of whatever is causing the anxiety in the first place. For others, the power of prayer can be invaluable. Sometimes it is as simple as stopping to ask yourself some simple questions like, is this something I should be worried about? Or is this something I have any control over? The Serenity Prayer sums this up when it says, "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." Sometimes putting things into this perspective is all you need to de-escalate the anxiety.

For each person there are different methods that will be more or less helpful in combating anxiety. For someone who is always busy, meditation might seem like torture. For the person who falls asleep every time they open a book, reading might just frustrate them. For many people, a useful technique might depend on what the ultimate cause of the anxiety turns out to be. For me, heading to my craft room and making a mess being as creative as possible can sometimes put everything into a better perspective. Having a creative outlet is imperative to good mental health if you are an artsy person. My daughter got way into painting when she was going through a pretty serious bout of depression and I made sure there were plenty of canvases and paints in the house, because I saw what a positive effect it had on her mood. I love to go for a drive and listen to music or call my best friend and just vent. Some of my kids love to exercise or go for a walk to "get their head on straight". A little-known secret for this Disney Lover, I LOVE to go to my bedroom, shut the door, pull up a YouTube clip of the television screen at a Walt Disney World resort and just listen and watch and dream of a time when I have been there.

You may have another method that works for you and no one else, and that is awesome. Battling anxiety is a very personal thing. You need to do what works for you, and you need to help your kids figure out what works for them. We are all going to have bad days and worry in life, but when that turns into anxiety and the anxiety escalates, it is best if you know what techniques are your go-to methods of self-help. You also need to realize that sometimes anxiety, in adult and child, can be something that is out of your control and that is okay to admit. It is imperative that you recognize that and seek the help of a professional. There is nothing wrong with asking for help for you or someone your love. So relax, you got this!

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