Send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends. Maybe we should all grab that purple hat a little earlier!

• Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you" though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.
• When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
• Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.
• You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
• If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.
• The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right".
• Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
• When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
• The only really good advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was "Go! You might meet somebody!"
• If she says that you are too good for him--believe her.
• I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
• At hard times I ask myself, "How do I feel? What do I want?" I use it whenever I'm at loss for words or thoughts.
• Never pass up an opportunity to pee. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
• If you move far from your family when you're young, consider choosing a career with an airline. Your need to see your family will last a lifetime, as will your travel benefits.
• Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.
• Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed urinal and hold your hand.
• Work is good but it's not that important.
• Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.
• And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

. . . This tiny little prayer keeps running through my head. God bless my mom and dad, and other family. Keep them warm and safe from harm for they are close to me. And God, there is one more thing I wish that you could do. Hope you don't mind me asking, bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's not normal to bless a mother board, But listen just a second while I explain to you 'My Lord'. You see, that little metal box holds more than odds ends Inside those small compartments rest so many of my FRIENDS.

I know so much about them by the kindness that they give And this little scrap of metal takes me in to where they live. By faith is how I know them much the same as you We share in what life brings us and from that our friendship grew.

Please, take an extra minute from your duties up above To bless those in my address book that's filled with so much love! Wherever else this prayer may reach to each and every friend, Bless each e-mail inbox and the person who hits send.

When you update your heavenly list on your own CD-Rom Remember each who have said this prayer sent up to you at God.com.

• That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
• That it's taking me a longtime to become the person I want to be.
• That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• That you can keep going long after you can't.
• That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
• That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
• That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
• That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
• That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
• That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
• That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
• That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
• That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
• That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
• Remember that not getting what you want, is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
• Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• Spend some time alone every day.
• Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
• Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
• Be gentle with the earth.
• Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
• Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other, exceeds your need for each other.
• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. I also know that dreams really do come true and you have my Best Wishes and my best efforts in those.

. . . which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is a lot of good in you! Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life! Or as I like to think of it--if it hadn't been for the crackpots in my life, it would have been pretty boring and not so interesting...

They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take 20 kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull." Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "his looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, so I'll take this one", and he cut it down. When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.