• To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.
• To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger- spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
• To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
• Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
• Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.
• Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
• Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
• Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes.
• Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
• Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powdered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.
• Using a q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.
•  If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.
• To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.
• To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that is causing pain in your ear.
• To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
• To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
• Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
• Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
•  Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain

• Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
• In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.
• On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. The Good Die Young.
• In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
• In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
• In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast.. Pardon me For not rising.
• In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.
• In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw.
• A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.
• John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.
• In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.
• Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna - Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.
• On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God.
• In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me.
• To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went.

• A chameleon’s tongue is twice the length of its body.

• A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.

• A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.

• Dolphins sleep with one eye open!

• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

• A cat’s jaw cannot move sideways.

• An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

• All polar bears are left handed.

• Ants don’t sleep.

• Dragonflies can fly at up to 30 mph.

• Flamingos are not naturally pink.  They get their color from their food.

• Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

• The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint.  No two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

Finished files are the result of years of scientific study combined with the experience of years

How many?

Three?

Wrong, there are six - no joke! The brain cannot process the word "of".

Incredible or what? Anyone who counts all six F's on the first go is a genius Three is normal.

• Geese Fact: As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the other birds to follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 70% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Our Lesson: People who share a common direction and a sense of community get where they are going quicker and easier -- because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

• Geese Fact: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Our Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

• Geese Fact: When a goose tires, it rotates to the back of the formation as another goose flies to the point opposite.

Our Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities and unique arrangement of gifts, talents or resources.

• Geese Fact: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Our Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups -- where there is encouragement to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the same in others -- is the sort of honking we seek.

• Geese Fact: When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then they launch out in formation and try to catch the flock.

Our Lesson: If we had as much sense as geese, we would stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

 ... now you know everything!

Just in case you weren't feeling old enough today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshman.

Here is this year's list:

• The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985.
• They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.
• They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
• There has been only one Pope in their lifetime.
• They were 10 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.
• They are too young to remember the space shuttle Challenger blowing up.
• Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
• Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
• Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.
• The statement "You sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
• They have never owned a record player.
• They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.
• They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 3 years old.
• They have always had an answering machine.
• Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.
• They have always had cable.
• There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was.
• They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
• They don't know what a cloth baby diaper is, or know about the "Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial.

Feeling old Yet? There's more:

• They were born 2 years after the Walkman was introduced by Sony.
• Roller skating has always meant inline for them.
• Michael Jackson has always been white.
• Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
• They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
• Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
• They have never seen Larry Bird play.
• They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
• The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as W.W.I, W.W.II and the Civil War.
• They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
• They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
• They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. (The correct answer, by the way, is Ork)
• They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "De plane, de plane!"
• They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was.
• Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places to them, not bands.
• There has always been MTV.
• They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.