The old Cherokee
chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial pipe . .
.
. . .
eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles,"
one official began, "you have observed the white man for
many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you
have seen all his progress, and all his problems."
The chief nodded.
The official continued,
"Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the
white man gone wrong?"
The chief stared at the
government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied.
"When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No
taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Women did most of the work.
Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the
time"
The chief smiled, and added
quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve
system like that."
Submitted by Marianne,
Columbia, Md.
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Sister's Jokes,
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One liners to
make hump day go a little faster . . .
- I love deadlines. I
especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go
flying by.
- Tell me what you need, and
I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Accept that some days you
are the pigeon and some days the statue.
- Needing someone is like
needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time,
chances are you won't be needing him again.
- I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE
PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
- My reality check bounced.
- On the keyboard of life,
always keep one finger on the escape key.
- I don't suffer from stress.
I am a carrier.
- You are slower than a herd
of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
- Do not meddle in the affairs
of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with
ketchup.
- Everybody is somebody else's
weirdo.
- Never argue with idiots.
They drag you down to their level, then beat you with
experience.
- A pat on the back is only a
few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
- Don't be irreplaceable. If
you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- After any salary raise, you
will have less money at the end of the month than you did
before.
- You can go anywhere you want
if you look serious.
- Eat one live toad the first
thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you
the rest of the day.
- If it wasn't for the last
minute, nothing would get done.
- When you don't know what to
do, walk fast and look worried.
- Following the rules will not
get the job done.
- When confronted by a
difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing
it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle
this?"
- Only the mediocre are at
their best all the time.
- There's a fine line between
genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
- Bring ideas in and entertain
them royally, for one of them may be the king.
- If at first you don't
succeed...... skydiving isn't for you.
Submitted by Mike,
Broomfield, Co.
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about work, My
Little Sister's Jokes,
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One liners only
Women would appreciate . . .
- Of course I don't look
busy... I did it right the first time.
- So many men, so few who can
afford me.
- God made us sisters, prozac
made us friends.
- Coffee, chocolate, men ...
some things are just better rich.
- Don't treat me any
differently than you would the queen.
- I'm out of estrogen and I
have a gun. (Personal favorite ! !!!)
- Warning: I have an attitude
and I know how to use it.
- Do not start with me. you
will not win.
- All stressed out and no one
to choke.
- I can be one of those bad
things that happens to bad people.
- How can I miss you if you
won't go away?
- Don't upset me! I'm running
out of places to hide the bodies.
And my favorite!
- If you want breakfast in
bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Submitted by Vicki, Kennett
Square, Pa.
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