• Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
• Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
• Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
• Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
• Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN tell the Difference!
• If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
• If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
• Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
• Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
• Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In
• Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
• Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels.
• Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
• Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill
• Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
• No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
• Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
• Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
• Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
• Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
• Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
• "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
• Adventures in Housekeeping I: let's Clean the Closet
• Adventures in Housekeeping II: let's Clean Under the Bed
• "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
• The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
• Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
• Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
• Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It.

• You measure distance in minutes.
• You know several people who have hit a deer.
• Stores don't have shopping carts, they have buggies
• You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal (including pesky insects).
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked (and your car as well).
• You carry jumper cables in your car .... for your own car.
• You own only 4 spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Duke's mayo.
• You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
• The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for sports.
• You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
• There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.
• Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World"
• You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
• A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop......... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
• You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself.
• You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as "biscuits 'n gravy").

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.

• Blaming your farts on me ... not funny.
• Yelling at me for barking ... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!!
• How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone.
• Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
• Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ... stop it.
• Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
• The slight-of-hand-fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit!