Don't imagine you can
change a man - unless he's in diapers ...
- What do you do if your boyfriend
walks-out? Shut the door!
- If they put a man on the moon - they
should be able to put them all up there.
- Never let your man's mind wander - it's
too little to be out alone.
- Go for younger men. You might as well -
they never mature anyway.
- Men are all the same - they just have
different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
- Definition of a bachelor; a man who has
missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- Women don't make fools of men - most of
them are the do-it-yourself types.
- Best way to get a man to do something,
is to suggest they are too old for it.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real
eye-opener.
- If you want a committed man, look in a
mental hospital.
- The children of Israel wandered around
the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't
ask for directions.
- If he asks what sort of books you're
interested in, tell him checkbooks.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean
that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
- Sadly, all men are created equal.
Submitted by Debbie, Proud
Wife of
Paul,
Middletown, Md.
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Why Engineers Don't Write
Cookbooks - Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
- 532.35 cm3 gluten
- 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
- 4.9 cm3 refined halite
- 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow
triglyceride
- 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
- 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
- 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic
aldehyde
- Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated
avian albumen-coated protein ovoids 9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel
(reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about
100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant
agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow
impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six,
and seven until the mixture is homogenous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight,
followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in
reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with
constant agitation.
Care must be taken at this point in the
reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of
an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4
nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x
600 mm).
Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time
that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate
expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the
reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer
table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
Submitted by Dave, Bolder, Co.
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A letter from your horse
(original version):
- When you are tense, let me
teach you to relax.
- When you are short tempered,
let me teach you to be patient.
- When you are short sighted,
let me teach you to see.
- When you are quick to react,
let me teach you to be thoughtful.
- When you are angry, let me
teach you to be serene.
- When you feel superior, let me
teach you to be respectful.
- When you are self absorbed,
let me teach you to think of greater things.
- When you are arrogant, let me
teach you humility.
- When you are lonely, let me be
your companion.
- When you are tired, let me
carry the load.
- When you need to learn, let me
teach you.
After all, I am your horse.
And now, the REAL story.....
- When you are tense, let me
teach you that there are lions in them thar woods, and we need
to leave NOW!
- When you are short tempered,
let me teach you to slog around the pasture for an hour before
you can catch me.
- When you are short sighted,
let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in the 40 acres I
am hiding.
- When you are quick to react,
let me teach you that herbivores kick much faster (harder) than
omnivores.
- When you are angry, let me
teach you how well I can stand on my hind feet because I don't
feel like cantering on my right lead today.
- When you are worried, let me
entertain you with my mystery lameness.
- When you feel superior, let me
teach you that, mostly, you are the maid service.
- When you are self absorbed,
let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. Remember? I told you about
those lions in them thar woods?
- When you are arrogant, let me
teach you what 1200 lbs. Of "YAHOO LETS GO!" can do when
suitably inspired.
- When you are lonely, let me be
your companion. Let's do lunch. Also, breakfast and dinner.
- When you are tired, don't
forget the 600lbs. Of grain that needs to be unloaded.
- When you are feeling
financially secure, let me teach you the meaning of "Veterinary
Services".
- When you need to learn, hang
around, bud. I'll learn ya.
Sincerely, Your Horse
Submitted by "Kathmandu's
Mom" - Mary, Falls Church, Va.
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