Humor Additions for Monday, Sept 29th 2003


    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

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E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net


 
Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run ...

... I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sunk in.

Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point. When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time, and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments, and when he came out again he handed me a toothbrush.

"When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalks."

He will be just fine when they take the casts off.

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, PA
 

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A guy from Philadelphia dies and is sent to Hell.

He had been a horrible man his entire life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it worse he cranks up the temperature and the humidity. After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Philadelphian is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.

The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"

The Philadelphian, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Philadelphia. Hot, humid, a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Philadelphian's remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing into his eyes, the Philadelphian is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.

Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions.

The Philadelphian replies, "This is great! Just like April in Philadelphia. It reminds me of working out in the yard with spring planting!"

The devil is now completely baffled but more determined to make the Philadelphian suffer. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly Hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make the Philadelphian unhappy, the devil checks in on him. He is again aghast at what he sees. The Philadelphian is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40 below zero!?" screams the devil.

Jumping up and down the Philadelphian throws a snowball at the devil and yells, "Hell's frozen over!! This means the Eagles won the SuperBowl !!

Submitted by Meghan, Emmitsburg, PA
 

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Man of the year, 2nd place


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