Forrest Gump Goes to
Heaven ...The day finally
arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly
Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
Forest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's
certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've
been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test
is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be
here St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance
exam. sure hope the test isn't too hard; life was a big enough
test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest,
but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the
week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there
in a year?
Third: What is God's First name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions
over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up
and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions
over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one-which
two days in the week begin with the letter "T?" Shucks, that one's
easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he
exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, So I'll give you
credit for that answer.
How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?"
"Twelve." Said Forrest.
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve?
Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with
twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be
twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ...
"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see
where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that
wasn't quite what I had in mind...but I'll have to give you credit
for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and
frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with
your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world
did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,"
Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song..."ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . ."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and
said: "Run Forrest, run".
Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.