Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left. In about an hour, he was back. Said, "We're gonna need all the ice picks you've got."

The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said. "We ain't even got the boat in the water yet."

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Israel. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Israelis?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch. But I had a problem. I didn't know how to speak Hebrew. So I planned to convey the message through three posters:

First poster : A man lying in the hot desert sand ... totally exhausted and fainting.

Second poster: The man is drinking Coca-Cola.

Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed. And then these posters were pasted all over the place."

Terrific! That should have worked!" said the friend.

"The hell it should have!" said the salesman. "No one told me they read from right to left!

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."

• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
• No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
• Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
• Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
• This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.
• For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
• For Sale: Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
• Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last
• Stock up and save. Limit: one
• We build bodies that last a lifetime
• See ladies blouses. 50% Off!
• Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!
• Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
• For sale: A quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
• Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
• 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.
• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
• Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
• Modular Sofas. Only $299 For rest or fore play.
• Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
• Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
• Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
• Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale
• And now, the Superstore - unequalled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivalled inconvenience.
• We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.
• Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.
• When you are thirsty, try 7-Up, the refreshing drink in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and Up after.