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Two priests were
talking together . . .
. . . and the older one said to the
younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new
ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well
your ideas were going to work."
"When you wanted to put bucket
seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now,
at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to
agree that it was a good idea."
"Then, when you wanted to
"jazz" up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier
songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now, we have a
lot of new, younger choir members, and the music seems to pick up the
services a lot more than the old
music. So, once again I have to agree
that you were right!"
"But when you wanted to put in
the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost
it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than
ever. I think you've come up with another good idea."
"However, the neon sign out
front that says "Toot 'n tell or go to hell" has to go!
Submitted by Pat, Clear LAKE, Va.
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A young boy had just
gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father, who was a rabbi,
if they could discuss his use of the family car. So, his father took
him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. You
bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut
and then we'll talk about it."
After about a month, the boy came
back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the
car. They again went into the father's study where the father said,
"Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades
up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair
cut."
The young man pondered that for
a moment and then replied, Dad, I've been thinking about that. You
know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair,
and even Jesus had long hair..."
The Rabbi said, "Yes, and they
walked everywhere they went."
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Think about it...
- Living on Earth is expensive, but
it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
- Birthdays are good for you; the
more you have, the longer you live.
- How long a minute is depends on
what side of the bathroom door you're on.
- Ever notice that the people who
are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait
for them?
- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
more people happy?
- Most of us go to our grave with
our music still inside of us.
- If Wal Mart is lowering prices
every day, how come nothing is free yet?
- You may be only one person in the
world, but you may also be the world to one person.
- Some mistakes are too much fun to
only make once.
- Don't cry because it's over; smile
because it happened.
- We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird
names, and all are different colors.... but they all have to learn
to live in the same box.
- Everything should be made as
simple as possible, but no simpler.
- A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
- Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
- Have an awesome day, and know that
someone has thought about you today!
Submitted by Marie,
Cochranville, Pa
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Two robins were
sitting in a tree.
"I'm really hungry," said
the first one.
"Me, too," said the second.
"Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew down to the ground and
found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was just full of worms.
They ate and ate and ate until they
could eat no more.
"I'm so full I don't think I can
fly back up into the tree," said
the first one. "Me neither. Let's just lay back here and bask in
the warm sun," said the second.
"O.K.," said the
first.
So they plopped down, basking
in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tom
cat snuck up and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face
after his meal, he thought
Ready?...
You're gonna like this one...
"I just love baskin'
robins."
Submitted by Marianna, Columbia,
Md.
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