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2010
- Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery (12/17)
- A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out... (12/6)
- Mary Poppins was travelling home, but due to worsening weather... (10/13)
- Interesting Ads and Signs (10/4)
- It's so hot here that ... (9/24)
- Reasons You Should Buy a New Car (9/22)
- An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site (9/15)
- A couple of young glow worm chicks decide to check out the new nightspot... (9/3)
- An Employee went to see his boss to ask for a raise (9/1)
- A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel... (8/25)
- Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? (8/25)
- You Know that Your Summer Vacation is Bad when (8/13)
- How To Know that Your New Neighbors Are Weird (8/9)
- A marketing guy was interviewing people on the street ... (7/30)
- Ole lived across River from Clarence who he didn't like at all (7/30)
- Sven and Ole, who are both from Minnesota, traveled down
to Texas for a vacation (7/19)
- The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and
the Antiproliferation of Repetition... (7/7)
- A life-long city man, tired of the rat race... (6/21)
- Things you'll never hear in a western movie... (6/18)
- What Has Happen to Oz in 70 Years (5/28)
- A young boy, about eight years old was... (5/26)
- A young woman wasn't feeling well... (5/21)
- "Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward... (5/19)
- The Ambitious Cornflake (4/16)
- While driving with my daughter and her husband... (4/14)
- A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort... (4/9)
- There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town... (3/29)
- Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal (3/1)
- After months of negotiation, a middling size advertising company... (2/24)
- The Power of Alcohol (2/8)
- I was in Target the other day, shopping with a young lady friend (2/5)
- A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich (1/30)
- A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace (1/25)
- Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica (1/22)
- I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time (1/15)
- A motorcyclist picked up his friend from work one raw autumn day (1/6)
- Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food (1/4)
2009
2008
- One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town (12/19)
- The convent had been presented with a new car, a red Mini Metro (11/14)
- Three friars were behind on their belfry payments... (11/3)
- A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask... (10/27)
- There was this guy who fell from an airplane and landed in a strange place (10/22)
- A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe (10/20)
- A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear (10/10)
- After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame... (10/6)
- A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks (9/29)
- She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still... (9/17)
- A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved... (9/15)
- A Clown noticed that his dog had become lethargic, lazy, and fat (9/12)
- There was once a handyman who had a dog named Mace (9/5)
- A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket... (8/20)
- Never Tick off a Nurse (8/18)
- A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement... (8/11)
- Recently I was asked to play in a golf outing (8/8)
- Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city one evening (8/4)
- Wish I could think so quickly (7/28)
- The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team (7/23)
- A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. (6/27)
- An explorer in the deepest Amazon... (6/23)
- A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." (6/16)
- A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer... (5/28)
- A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink (5/26)
- Cannibal One Liners (5/19)
- A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day (5/14)
- I was walking past the mental hospital the other day... (5/9)
- A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!" (5/2)
- A tourist from the Arkansas area was hiking through the Ozark mountains (4/30)
- One day, three men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor (4/25)
- Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class (4/16)
- Farm Humor (4/9)
- A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot (4/4)
- A man walks into the sheriff's office... "I want to become a deputy!" (3/26)
- A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message ... (3/21)
- Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button (2/25)
- A person was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. Unable to locate the Capitol (2/4)
- The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time (1/28)
- Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!" (1/25)
- I was recently riding with a friend of mine (1/23)
- A stockbroker was nervous about being in prison... (1/21)
- Let the Groaning begin! (1/4)
2007
- My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant (12/10)
- The old Indian chief called for the two bravest warriors in the tribe (12/5)
- A motorway walks into a pub one day (12/3)
- A blonde was mowing her lawn when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat... (11/26)
- A man went to a dentist one day for a regular check up (10/29)
- The privilege of naming all the children of the tribe always fell to the chief (10/26)
- A young man with a slight hearing problem, is in an accident and his eye is poked out. (10/24)
- A banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat (10/22)
- Many people are unaware that Frank Sinatra was an ecologist (10/15)
- I rear-ended another car this morning. I tell you... (10/3)
- A man has a dog called Mace, which he keeps in the house all the time... (9/14)
- A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub... (9/12)
- Gladys Dunn recently moved into a retirement community in a small town (9/7)
- A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe ... (8/31)
- I don't usually like these fuzzy heartwarming stories, but this one is truly interesting... (8/24)
- Old Aunt Cora went to see a doctor about her troublesome constipation (8/20)
- Troy had finally made it to his doctor's office for a long overdue appointment (8/8)
- A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city... (7/30)
- John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business (7/25)
- A man goes into the doctor (7/9)
- A jeweler called the police station to report a robbery (7/7)
- A man enters a barber shop for a shave (6/29)
- Two men were hunting in the woods... (6/11)
- Mr. Jacobson, a miserly businessman, decided to take a week off ... (5/30)
- A duck walks into an auto hobby shop ... (5/23)
- Tick warning ... (5/16)
- A young woman was in hospital, recovering from major surgery (5/11)
- A Mexican family crosses the border to the Land of Milk & Honey... (5/7)
- Tourists in the Museum of Natural History ... (5/2)
- An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet (4/27)
- After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight... (4/25)
- A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair ... (4/20)
- A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch (4/9)
- The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father... (4/6)
- A man spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field... (3/28)
- A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle (3/26)
- Pretty good groaners ... (3/21)
- A bonified Redneck couple had 9 children (3/14)
- Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right (3/12)
- A man is working on the busses in the US collecting tickets (3/9)
- During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed... (2/21)
- A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting... (1/19)
2006
2005
2004
- Maxine: That Grand Old Girl! (12/3)
- Medical Specialties ... (11/22)
- Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item ... Walmart wine (10/25)
- Asked of Librarians Dept ... (9/15)
- A Midget in Texas went to the doctor ... (8/23)
- Three two-line groaners to get your week going ... (8/16)
- Sven and Ole, who are both from Minnesota, traveled down to Texas for a vacation. (7/23)
- The high school coaches in Terrebone Parish, Louisiana went to a coaches' retreat. (7/21)
- John, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. (7/16)
- Two cadets at Colorado's Air Force academy were bragging in their off time ... (5/24)
- Really, really bad one-line groaners ... (4/30)
- A doctor had a habit of stopping off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. (4/12)
- Two robins were sitting in a tree. (3/12)
- A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. (3/10)
- The divorce lawyer began his examination of a Polish husband ... (3/5)
- Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters ... (3/1)
- The politician went to go out to the local reservation and to get the Native American vote. (2/23)
- A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners ... (2/13)
- Boudreaux and Thibodeaux worked together and both were laid off ... (2/11)
- In 1968, Herman James, a Tennessee Mountain man, was drafted by the army. (2/9)
- The story of Onestone the Indian Brave. (1/26)
- Test your IQ with the question below: There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush ... (1/21)
- A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" (1/19)
- Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest ... (1/5)
- Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. (1/1)
2003
2002
- One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee ... (12/23)
- December's Brain Teasers ... (12/13)
- An Afghanistan diplomat visiting the US for the first time ... (11/29)
- A guy goes to his doctor and is told by him "I have some very bad news for you ... (11/25)
- Not too long ago a scientist tried to clone himself ... (11/15)
- One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. (11/13)
- This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. (10/25)
- Mother Superior calls all the nuns together ... (10/9)
- The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning against a wall. (10/2)
- Its that time of the year when business cover up the red ink with mega mergers ... (9/30)
- Mama mole, a papa mole and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole... (9/27)
- Two doctors opened an office in a small town ... (9/25)
- Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln hired Alan Pinkerton for protection. (9/18)
- Some of the old favorite singers and bands have re-released their great hits ... (9/6)
- I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes ... (8/30)
- Brain teasers that will make you groan ... (8/26)
- A friend of mine sent me this advisory on the stock market today. (8/16)
- A painter called Jock, who was very interested in making a penny where he could ... (8/7)
- Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner. (7/31)
- A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the road. (7/17)
- More Brain Twisters (7/15)
- An elephant was drinking out of a pond one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. (7/8)
- A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. (7/1)
- Some facts have just come to light concerning the sinking of the "Titanic." (6/17)
- 4 Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. (5/5)
- One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money ... (5/24)
- John decided life would be much easier if he had a clone. (5/20)
- English will be the official language of the EU rather than German (5/17)
- Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons ... (5/6)
- Mitch, a hard-shell Southern Baptist, loved to sneak away to the race track. (4/26)
- A new teacher was getting to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living ... (4/22)
- This month's entries for this year's best one line groaners ... (3/29)
- After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.
- Rodney Dangerfield's Best One Liners (2/27)
- The very best ... err worst, of one line groaners (2/11)
- George Bush was walking through an airport ... (2/6)
- A man who was lonely decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. (1/28)
- Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. (1/23)
- A man is dining in a restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. (1/14)
- Polish Marines stormed Bloomingdale's Department Store ... (1/7)
- This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. (1/2)
2001
- It was visitor's day at the lunatic asylum. (12/21)
- Best one liner groaners of 2001 (12/4)
- Poland’s worst air disaster ever occurred today ... (11/21)
- A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. (11/16)
- A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a meal. (11/14)
- Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. (11/9)
- Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. (11/2)
- At a hastily called press conference this morning, the Taliban Minister of Emigration ... (10/29)
- Five terrorists has been operating in the Harlem area. (10/24)
- A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid (10/19)
- A man goes to an exclusive black tie restaurant for dinner. (10/5)
- How to tell the sex of a fly. (10/1)
- A guy offers to buy a drink for an attractive young woman seated at a bar. (9/26)
- A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. (9/19)
- A couple of Texas hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. (9/7)
- Charlie had a massive heart attack and died. (9/3)
- A city slicker was driving through the country when he spotted a horse in a field. (8/27)
- John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. (8/22)
- Once upon a time there were three little pigs. (8/13)
- Joe and Bill are working at the sawmill when Bill saws his arm off. (8/8)
- George W. Bush was asked how he felt about Roe v. Wade. (8/3)
- Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided he needed a new robe. (8/1)
- Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. (7/30)
- Two nuns were ordered to paint a room in the convent ... (7/18)
- Two robins were sitting in a tree. (7/13)
- A guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. (7/6)
- Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Mariners base ball game. (6/29)
- There's this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. (6/13)
- An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse (6/8)
- Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking female flies. (6/1)
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest. (5/12)
- After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride ... (5/3)
- Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons ... (4/27)
- What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously? (4/20)
- A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a....... (4/16)
- Dolly, the famous cloned sheep, was up in the highlands and fell off one of the cliffs. (4/14)
- A rancher was approached by indian American who said he could read animal minds (4/12)
- Many are aware that in China couples are only allowed to have two children. (4/5)
- A person fell ill in a restaurant and people called out, "Is there a doctor in the house?" (4/2)
- I was in Shab Row on Friday and the Clintons were there, looking for antiques again. (3/30)
- After his day's sightseeing, an American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant. (3/29)
- "Doc," says Morris, "I want to be castrated." (3/29)
- A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. (3/28)
- Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each .... (3/27)
- Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it ... (3/22)
- Read each line aloud Dr. Seuss' lost tongue twisters ... (3/22)
- Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, the other is four. (3/20)
- A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the road. (3/19)
- A guy gets a new dog and can't wait to show him off to his neighbor. (3/13)
- A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 49th birthday. (3/12)
- An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder (3/9)
- A officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. (3/8)
- A frog goes into this bank and hops up to the loan officer's desk. (3/7)
- Once upon a time there lived a king. (3/6)
- A Polish farmer staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man. (3/2)
- Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. (2/26)
- Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. (2/20)
- Why Men Aren't Secretaries (2/19)
- Frank was a painter who liked to make extra dollars by thinning his paint ... (2/16)
- This month's top groaner one liners .... (2/15)
- A world famous painter who, in the prime of her career started losing her eyesight. (2/14)
- Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw ... (2/13)
- Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped... (2/12)
- A woman from the deepest, most rural part of Alabama ... (2/8)
- God decided he needed a vacation. (2/7)
- There were two guys riding down the road on a motorcycle. (2/6)
- What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? (2/5)
- An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walked up to a stone pulpit and said... (2/2)
- How to Stop People from Bugging You about Getting Married. (2/1)
- Even more groaner one liners (1/30)
- Groaner one-liners (1/29)
- A minister developed quite a reputation for his sermons ... (1/27)
- A immigrant, who just arrived in this country and could not speak English ... (1/26)
- Two vampires wanted to go out to eat ... (1/25)
- At our Seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoth, fortified with Metamucil. (1/23)
- "The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people," ... (1/22)
- A dejected Communist Party candidate trudges home after the polls close. (1/20)
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. (1/19)
- I was driving home from work when, out of nowhere, a bird slammed into my windshield. (1/18)
- What do you call a guy on the side of the road with his hand up a horses behind? (1/17)
- The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. (1/16)
- A man walked into a bar and sat down beside a women. (1/15)
- A sad day! I don't usually pass on news like this ... (1/10)
- A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot. (1/10)
- A drunk went into a telephone booth and dialed at random ... (1/8)
- A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker are having dinner ... (1/4)
- Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other ... (1/3)
- A piece of string goes in to a bar... (1/2)
2000
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