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One day in
Heaven, Saint Peter, Saint Paul, and Saint John were standing
around near the horse paddocks, bored, watching the horses
frolic.
"I know!" Peter
exclaimed. "Why don't we have a horse show?"
"Who are we to compete
against, Peter?" Paul asked.
The trio pondered this a moment
when Peter said, "We'll invite Satan. I mean, all of the
World and National Champion horses are here. His stable is
filled with the spoiled, difficult, and mean horses. We're
certain to win!"
And so they called up Satan and
invited him to their horse show. Satan asked why they would want
to be humiliated like that, because he would certainly beat
them.
Peter, Paul, and John did not
understand. Incredulous, Peter asked, "We have all of the
champion horses in heaven! How could you possibly beat us?"
Satan laughed and replied,
"Have you forgotten, gentlemen? I have all the judges in
hell!"
Submitted by Barb,
Unionville, Pa.
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My Little
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More
Interesting Factoids. Did you know ...
-
It is
impossible to lick your elbow.
-
A shrimp's
heart is in their head.
-
People say
"Bless you" when you sneeze because when you
sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
-
If you sneeze
too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a
sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck
and die. if you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop
out.
-
In a study of
200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported
a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand
(or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ).
-
It is
physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
-
A pregnant
goldfish is called a twit.
-
Between 1937
and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetic Spaghetti
especially for the German market that consisted solely of
little pasta swastikas.
-
More than 50%
of the people in the world have never made or received a
telephone call.
-
Rats and
horses can't vomit.
-
Rats multiply
so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over
million descendants.
The
"sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to
be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
Wearing
headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
ear by 700 times.
If the
government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14,
Section 1211 of the
Code of Federal
Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for
U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or
their vehicles?
In every episode
of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
23% of all
photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on
them and photocopying their buttocks.
In the course of
an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted
insects and 10 spiders.
Most lipstick
contains fish scales. {Huh? I don't want to think about it...}
Cat's urine
glows under a black-light.
Like
fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
Over 75% of
people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Submitted by
Mike, Golden, Co.
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Each year the
Washington Post's asks readers to take any word from the
dictionary . . .
. . .
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and
supply a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners:
- Intaxication: Euphoria at
getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was
your money to start with.
- Reintarnation: Coming back
to life as a hillbilly.
- Giraffiti: Vandalism
spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm: The gulf between
the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get
it.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee
intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis: Terminal
coolness.
- Osteopornosis: A degenerate
disease.
- Karmageddon: It's like, when
everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
bummer.
- Glibido: All talk and no
action.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency
of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been smoking
marijuana.
And, the pick of the
literature:
- Ignoranus: A person who's
both stupid and an ass
Submitted by Andy,
Gettysburg, PA.
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