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Greg and Jim were a couple of
drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta.
One day the airport was
fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Greg said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink."
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you
can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of
glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed. The next
morning Greg wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In
fact he feels great! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings ... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this
morning?"
Greg says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Greg says, "No, that jet fuel is great
stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No ..."
"Well, don't, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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Sister's Jokes, emmitsburg.net
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The continuing adventures of the
time traveler stuck here in 2003 ...
Hello:
I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003.
Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working.
I trusted a company here by the name of llc lasers to repair my
generation 3 52 4350a watch unit, and they fled on me. i am going
to need a new dwg unit, prefereably the rechargeable amd wrist
watch model with the grc79 induction motor, four i80200 warp
stabilizers, 512gb of sram and the menu driven gui with front
panel xid display.
I will take whatever model you have in
stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on
carbon based life forms.
In terms of payment:
I don't have any galactic credits left.
Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe
delivery of unit.
Instructions must be followed exactly:
Please transport unit in either a brown
paper bag or box to below coordinates on Thursday august 7th at
(exactly 4:00pm) eastern standard time on the dot. A few minutes
prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this
timeframe please email me. i will not be there prior to 4:45pm est,
so do not transport before then.
Item is to be delivered at (out of service
basketball court) located at: latitude n 42.47935 & longitude w
071.17355 and the elevation is 119 feet.
Warning: do not attempt to transport item
by regular means of teleportation. They are monitoring and will
redirect the signal!!
I do not care how you have to get it here,
just do it in a way that no spying eyes will possibly be able to
redirect the transference. It is very important that you be able
to monitor the transfer.
How are you going to send it so that they
cannot redirect it??? if in doubt do not transport actual unit
until your method of transfer can be confirmed as a success. You
just might need to send a intergalactic courier to deliver item
safely to me. if so be very careful at how they approach me in my
white car.
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The passenger tapped the
cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something ...
The driver screamed, lost control of the
car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches
from a department store window. For a second everything went quiet
in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that
again. You scared me half to death!"
The passenger apologized and said he
didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much.
The driver replied, "You're right. I'm
sorry, really it's not your fault. Today is my first day as a cab
driver.
I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."
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Insurance Claim Hall of Fame top photo #4
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August
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