You know you're from South
Carolina if ...
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You've ever had to switch from heat to
air conditioning in the same day.
- You see a car running in a store
parking lot with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
- You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am
fixing to go to the store.
- All the festivals across the state are
named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
- You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables in your car...
for your OWN car.
- You know what "cow tipping" is.
- You only own four spices: salt, pepper,
Texas Pete and catsup.
- The local papers cover national and
international news on one page and six pages for local gossip
and sports.
- Your think that the first day deer
season is a national holiday.
- You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a
little warm."
- You know all four seasons: almost
summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
- Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past
time known as "Goin' wal-martin" or "Off to ' Wally World'."
- You describe the first cool snap (below
70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
- A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda,
cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
Example: "What kinna coke you want?"
- Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
Submitted By Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
|
Return to: Top
of Page,
List of You Know Your From,
My
Little Sister's Jokes,
|
|
One day my
housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry
room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
I replied, "It depends. What does it say
on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "Green Bay Packers."
Submitted by
Rosemary, Thurmont, Md.
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Jokes About Men, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
Actual comments made by
patients during colonoscopies
- "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going
where no man has gone before."
- "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
- "Can you hear me NOW?"
- "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
- "Could you write me a note for my wife,
saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
- "You know, in some states, we're now
legally married."
- "Any sign of the trapped miners,
Chief?"
- "You put your left hand in, you take
your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
- "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
- "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my
dignity."
- "You used to be an executive at Enron,
didn't you?"
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Groaner Joke List,
My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
Cats are small women in fur coats ...
- Cats do what they want, when they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They're totally unpredictable.
- They whine when they are not happy.
- When you want to play they want to be
left alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to
play.
- They expect you to cater to their every
whim.
- They're moody.
- They leave their hair everywhere.
- They drive you nuts.
Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur
coats.
Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Jokes About Women, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
Jan
17th Humor Page |
|