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A woman was sitting at a bar
enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends ...
...
when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged
man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her
eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly
attentive stare, and walked directly toward her. (As all men
will.) Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring,
he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely
anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for
$20.00......on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the
condition was.
The man replied, "You have to tell me what
you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a
moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she
pressed into the man's hand along with her address.
She looked deeply into his eyes, and
slowly, and meaningfully said.... "Clean my house."
Submitted by
Debbie,
Middletown, Md.
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Sister's Jokes,
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Insights on life from Fran ...
- Give people more than
they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Marry a man/woman you love to talk to.
As you get older, their conversational skills will be as
important as any other.
- Don't believe all you hear, spend all
you have, or sleep all you want.
- When you say, "I love you," mean it.
- When you say, "I'm sorry," look the
person in the eye.
- Be engaged at least six months before
you get married.
- Believe in love at first sight.
- Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People
who don't have dreams don't have much.
- Love deeply and passionately. You might
get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.
- In disagreements, fight fairly.
Please---No name calling.
- Don't judge people by their relatives.
- Talk slowly but think quickly.
- When someone asks you a question you
don't w! ant to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to
know?"
- Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.
- Say "bless you" when you hear someone
sneeze.
- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
- Remember the three R's: Respect for
self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
- Don't let a little dispute injure a
great friendship.
- When you realize you've made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.
- Smile when picking up the phone. The
caller will hear it in your! voice.
- Spend some time alone.
Submitted obviously by Fran, Frederick,
Md.
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Editor's note: I
received the e-mail below the other day for an unidentified source
... at first I thought it was the usual spam, then I took a closer
look at it ...
Greetings:
We need a vendor who can offer immediate
supply. I'm offering $5,000 US dollars just for referring a vender
which is (Actually RELIABLE in providing the below equipment)
Contact details of vendor required, including name and phone #. If
they turn out to be reliable in supplying the below equipment I'll
immediately pay you $5,000. We prefer to work with vendor in the
Boston/New York area.
- The mind
warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series
wrist watch with z80 or better memory adapter. If in stock the
AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79
induction motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and
two Analog Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu
driven GUI accessible on the front panel XID display. All in 1
units would be great if reliable models are available
- The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series
time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement.
Needed with complete jumper/auxiliary system
- A reliable crystal Ionizor with
unlimited memory backup.
- I will also pay for Schematics,
layouts, and designs directly from the manufacture which can be
used to build this equipment from readily available parts.
If your vendor turns out to be reliable, I
owe you $5,000.
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July
7th Humor Page
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