Moses "Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?" "I'm afraid it
is, Sir." What is it this time, Moses; more computer Problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember ?"
"Oh, yes; I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know, Sir. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, Sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know
those ten 'things' you sent me via e-mail?"
"You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they are
important."
"What do you mean 'if they are important,'
Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise, I would not have
sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I
could say the dog ate them; but, of course, you would see right
through that."
"What do you mean you 'lost them'? Are you
trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir; I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yes, I know. You told me that before. I
was going to save them, but I forgot. I did forward them to some
people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. There was the one
guy who said he never uses 'shalt not.' May he change the words a
little bit?"
"Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change
the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your
stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten
Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for a
while?"
"Moses, I will act as if I did not hear
that."
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what about
the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yes. I. E-mailed him back and told
him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can
send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name
in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those -- err
-- plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten 'things', do
you?"
"They are not plagues; they are called
'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too
much for me. Can we go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on
my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I
never lost them."
"We will do it the new way, Moses; using
computers"
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you
messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and point
it toward the computer."
"It's a mouse , Moses, not a rat. Mouse!
Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try calling technical
support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than
you? And I really like your hours. By the way, Sir, did Noah have
two of these mice on the ark?"
"No, Moses."
"One other thing. Why did you not name
them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the
thing they sit on is a pad?"
I did not name them, Moses. Man did, and
you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman
told Adam to call it a mouse. After all, was it not a woman who
named one of the computers 'Apple?'"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the
mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten
'things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let me see. 'Thou shalt not steal from
any grave "an image' and 'Thou shalt not correct Thy neighbor's
wife.'"
"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending
you another set of stone tablets."
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD.