This
years first entry into the rambling
thoughts category ...
-
Does a clean house indicate that
there is a broken computer in it?
-
Why is it that no matter what color
of bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
- Is
there ever a day when mattresses are
NOT on sale?
-
Why do people constantly return to
the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have
materialized?
- On
electric toasters, why do they
engrave the message 'one slice'? How
many pieces of bread do they think
people are really gonna try to stuff
in that slot?
-
Why do people keep running over a
string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give their vacuum one more
chance?
-
Why is it that no plastic garbage
bag will open from the end you first
try?
-
How do those dead bugs get into
closed light fixtures?
-
Considering all the lint you get in
your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes would they eventually just
disappear?
-
When we are in the supermarket and
someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for
doing so, why do we say 'Its all
right'? It isn't all right, so why
don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid
idiot'?
-
Why is it that when you're walking
up the stairs and you get to the top
you always think there's still one
more step?
-
Why is it that whenever you attempt
to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to
knock something else over?
- Is
it true that the only difference
between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the
stuff is placed?
- In
winter, why do we try to keep the
house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
-
Why are the needy only thought of
during the holidays? Aren't they
just as needy throughout the rest of
the year?
-
Why is it that men can react to
broken bones as 'just a sprain' and
deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but
when they get the sniffles they are
deathly ill 'with the flu' and have
to be bedridden for weeks?
-
How come we never hear any
father-in-law jokes?
- If
at first you don't succeed,
shouldn't you try doing it like your
wife told you to?
Submitted by
Bill, Narberth, Pa.
|
|
Walking through San Francisco's
Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest ...
... was fascinated with all the
Chinese restaurants, shops, signs, and banners. He turned a corner
and saw a building with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese
Laundry."
"Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered.
"How does that fit in Chinatown?" So he walked into the shop and
saw a fairly standard looking Chinese laundry. He could see that
the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name
as there were baseball hats, T-shirts, and coffee mugs emblazoned
with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry." There was also a
fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name
alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist
selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his
office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who
bowed and thanked him for his purchase.
The tourist asked, "Can you tell
me how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese
Laundry?
The old man answered, "Ahh...
evelybody ask me that. It name of oh-nah." Looking around, the
tourist asked, "Is he here now?"
"He light heah," replied the old
man. "He is me."
"Really? But you're Chinese. How
did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?"
"Is velly simple," said the old
man. "Many, many years ago, when I coming to Amelika, I standing
in line at Immiglashun Centah. Man in flont of me was Jewish man
from Porand. Lady at counter look at him andsay,'What your name?'
He say, 'Moishe Plotnik.' Then she look at me and say, 'What your
name?'
I say, 'Sam Ting.' "
|
