Why we love kids ...
Nudity: I was driving with my three young
children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible
ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was
reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
Honesty: My son Zachary, 4, came
screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his
toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and
said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out
too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
Opinions: On the first day of school, a
first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note
read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
those of his parents."
Ketchup: A woman was trying hard to get
the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now. She's hitting the bottle."
More Nudity: A little boy got lost at
the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he
was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"
Police # 1: While taking a routine
vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a
little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and
continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed
help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's
right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her
foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
Police # 2: It was the end of the day
when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I
gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I
saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy
looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he
said, "What'd he do?"
Elderly: While working for an
organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used
to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found
her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I
braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe
this!"
Dress-up: A little girl was watching her
parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his
tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And
why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache
the next morning"
Death : While walking along the sidewalk
in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a
prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling
that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say
the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be
unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ..... and into the hole
he gooooes"
School: A little girl had just finished
her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said
to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
me talk!"
Bible: A little boy opened the big
family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old
pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up
the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that
had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I
think it's Adam's underwear!"
Submitted by Bill, one of the
Willys, Gettysburg, Pa.