• You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2000.
• You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.
• You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
• You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
• People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
• No longer content with merely photocopying your butt, you now scan and enhance it with Photoshop.
• You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs.
•  The 4th Division of Paper clips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.

I'm a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?"

"Who said my dad's dead?"

The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive. How old is he?"

"He's 100 years old," says the old golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive . . . he's a golfer too."

"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?"

Stunned, he doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"

"He's 118 years old," says the old golfer. .

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."

At this point the doctor is close to losing it "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"