List of Jokes About Aging

My Little Sister's Jokes > List of Jokes About Aging

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Happily maintained by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.	Help us build our joke and story bank. E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net

2010

Wisdom from Grandpa... (12/3)

When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business... (11/17)

One liners on ageing (9/17)

Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit (8/30)

Revision of 60s songs... (7/30)

Quirks About Life You Notice By The Time You Are Fifty (7/28)

How was your golf game, dear? (7/7)

Some "Senior" Personal Ads Seen in Florida and Arizona Newspapers (6/25)

Observations on Growing Older (5/28)

Have You Ever Danced? (5/7)

A group of 40-year-old buddies decide to form a supper club... (2/22)

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house... (2/8)

Fifteen years ago my wife and I moved into a retirement development... (1/25)

2009

Wisdom, from Seniors... (12/4)

Observations on Growing Older (11/4)

The Rolling Stones circled New York's sprawling Van Cortlandt Park... (11/2)

You Know You're Over The Hill When... (10/26)

The Doctor told me I should start an exercise program (10/21)

Signs You're "All Grown-Up Now" (10/21)

Age Quotes (7/29)

A senior moment ... at 48? (7/27)

A small lady, 60+ years, pink hair, turned up specs, orange pants suit... (7/13)

A ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home... (6/28)

Top 10 Signs You’re Over The Hill (6/3)

One early evening, a police car pulled up in front of grandma Marge's house... (5/15)

Will Rogers on Growing Older... (5/13)

An elderly gentleman was having some physical problems, so he went to see his doctor (5/4)

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch (2/23)

Fred and Grady, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons (2/18)

A man, 82 and a woman, 79 met in a retirement home, soon becoming firm friends (2/16)

You Know You're Growing Older When (2/2)

Thoughts On Aging (1/28)

2008

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water (12/29)

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice (12/5)

New Alphabet (11/21)

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening... (11/21)

Just a line to say I'm living, That I'm not among the dead (10/22)

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time (9/29)

The irate customer calling the newspaper office... (9/26)

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day (9/24)

How to Know That You Are Getting Very Old (9/8)

You Know That You Better Retire When... (8/20)

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home... (8/11)

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests... (8/4)

Comments overhead at a retirement community... (7/23)

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago (7/18)

Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street... (6/20)

A travel agent looked up from his desk and saw an older lady and an older gentleman... (5/7)

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money (4/21)

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives (4/4)

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes... (3/5)

Growing Older Is... (2/20)

New Rules for Pilots over Age Sixty (2/18)

Questions for Seniors (2/13)

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening (2/8)

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning (2/1)

You Know You're Growing Older When (2/1)

The news interviewed an 80-year-old lady who had just gotten married for the 4th time (1/30)

The doctor, who was known for his extraordinary treatment of arthritis... (1/25)

A banker saw his old friend, an eighty-year old rancher... (1/2)

2007

Two old guys, Rodger and Chuck, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons... (11/16)

Old is when... (11/12)

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around (10/26)

A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation (10/24)

Seniors Under Attack ... (10/8)

Two elderly ladies met at the laundry (10/5)

More Thoughts On Aging (9/28)

Thoughts On Aging (9/17)

Special Poem for Senior Citizens (8/27)

Life at sixty plus (8/20)

A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors... (8/17)

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical (8/1)

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent education seminars... (7/27)

More Thoughts On Aging (7/20)

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house (7/16)

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out ... (7/13)

The Best Living Will I've Seen (6/20)

Last will & testament of a farmer (6/6)

I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician (4/13)

When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel (2/26)

A very self-important college freshman took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen ... (2/5)

Baby Boomer Blues (2/2)

Save a great word. Invite someone to supper. Discuss fender skirts. (1/12)

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years (1/5)

2006

One-liners about aging ... (12/29)

If you are not over 60, this is what you have to look forward to... (12/8)

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren ... (12/4)

When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress (11/29)

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady ... (11/27)

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch (9/22)

And they ask why I like retirement ... (7/17)

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered ... (7/17)

Older Than Dirt Quiz: (6/26)

This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet ... (5/19)

You Know You Have Been out of College Too Long When... (5/12)

Perks of Being over 50 (4/28)

Two elderly people were living in a mobile home park in Florida (4/26)

Senior Dress Code (4/12)

2005

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist ... (12/16)

An Elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary (11/18)

You know you are getting on in age when ... (10/7)

A ninety-two year old priest was venerated by everyone in town (8/24)

An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary (7/27)

The Class Reunion ... (7/15)

You know you're getting older when... (6/22)

I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm. (5/25)

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting Married?" (4/29)

No nursing home for me! (4/22)

Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper? Groceries are heavier? (4/1)

2004

To the kids who survived the 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's (3/7)

Don't mess with seniors, especially when it comes to money (12/15)

Senior personal ads seen in Florida newspapers ... (12/3)

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. (7/26)

What A Grandmother Is: (5/7)

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car ... (2/18)

Some reflections on aging: (1/28)

Four widow ladies in a retirement home in Florida sitting outside, enjoying the day. (1/26)

2003

My husband is 67 years old and loves to fish ... (11/28)

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup ... (10/17)

Subject: Little old lady (10/9)

An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. (8/22)

The Perks of Being 50+ (8/20)

At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. (8/18)

Some of your old favorites have re-released their greatest hits... (take 2) (8/11)

Letter sent to the principal of a school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly ... (7/14)

Here's a little test for anyone over 40+ (6/16)

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered... (5/19)

Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. (5/16)

If I could, I'd enlist today and help track down Saddam ... (5/14)

An old couple was sitting when the husband gets up and drives to the store. (4/3)

Some of your old favorites have re-released their greatest hits... (4/9)

Last year I replaced several windows in my house... (3/26)

A little old man shuffled......... (3/21)

26 Signs That You've Already Grown Up (3/19)

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered ... (3/5)

You know you are not a kid anymore (2/14)

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. (1/27)

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist ... (1/17)

During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying ... (1/8)

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP. (1/3)

2002

Why God invented menopause ... (12/23)

An elderly Floridian called 911 to report that her car has been broken into. (12/20)

George Carlin's View On Aging ... (11/29)

Jacob, aged 85, and Rebecca, 79, were excited about their decision to get married. (11/20)

I'm Fine - How are you? (9/13)

Aging in Good Humor (8/2)

More insights on life learned by the time you have reached middle age (6/28)

More humorous Insight on life ... (6/19)

Now that they are retired, my parents are discussing all aspects of their future ... (4/12)

A letter from Grandma ... (3/13)

Hymns for the Over-70 Crowd (2/22)

I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.! (2/20)

The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. (1/30)

2001

An older couple were lying in bed one night. (12/21)

A quick test to determine your true age! (11/21)

I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD ... (9/26)

A group of Florida senior citizens were discussing their ailments. (9/17)

Three old sisters all lived together. (9/7)

Dr. Seuss in the ' Golden Years' (8/6)

Jake and Saul are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other (8/1)

An Octogenarian, who was an avid golfer joined the local Country Club. (6/29)

You Know You Are Getting Older When ... (6/27)

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers ... (6/1)

A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. (5/2)

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York. (4/18)

A pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. (4/17)

Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community ... (4/4)

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older ... (3/30)

Games for When We Are Older. (3/28)

A couple of old guys were golfing ... (3/12)

An 80 year old man went to Hollywood to pick up a prostitute .... (3/7)

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. (3/6)

Not that this applies to any of you Old" IS WHEN... (2/12)

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things ... (2/9)

Hidden Benefits of being old (1/30)

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench (1/23)

Stages of a successful life: (1/18)

Great Truths About Growing Old (1/12)

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. (1/10)

2000

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered (12/20)

A 75 year old woman went to the doctor for a check-up. (12/19)

An old lady came into her doctor's office and confessed ... (11/18)

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home ... (11/14)

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems (10/17)

90-year old George went for his annual physical (10/16)

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner (10/15)

An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup ... (9/27)

"Old" is when ... (9/27)

Bea was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all (9/22)

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman ... (8/27)

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital (8/27)

Three Old Men (8/15)

85 years Morris marries a lovely 25 year old woman ... (8/10)

Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back ... (8/2)

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car ... (8/1)