Their waitress, taking an order at a table a few steps away, suddenly

noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling black officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered: "There must be some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes."

• Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
• Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
• All Un-informed Drivers Insulted
• All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW

• Big Money Works
• Bought My Wife
• Brutal Money Waster

BUICK

• Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET

• Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE

• Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater
• Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FORD

• Fix Or Repair Daily
• Found On Road, Dead
• Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM

• General Maintenance

GMC

• Garage Man's Companion

HONDA

• Had One Never Did Again
• Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.
• Hated Old Noisy Damaged Auto

HYUNDAI

• Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive?

MAZDA

• Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE

• Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
• Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB

• Send Another Automobile Back

TOYOTA

• Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

• Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW

• Virtually Worthless

Layla on Tia

When your day seems out of balance
And so many things go wrong.
When people fight around you,
And the day drags on so long...

When parents act like children
In-Laws make you think "Divorce,"
Go out into your pasture...
Wrap your arms around your horse.

His gentle breath enfolds you,
As he watches with those eyes...
He may not have a Ph.D.,
But he is oh, so wise!

His head rests on your shoulder
You embrace him good and tight;
He puts your world in balance,
And makes it seem all right.

Your tears will soon stop flowing,
The tension is now eased.
The garbage has been lifted
You'll be quiet and at peace.

So when you need the balance
From circumstances in your day
The best therapy you can seek-
Is out there chomping hay!

~Author unknown