Humor Selections for October 25th, 2006


     My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

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If you love someone as told by:

Shakespeare

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide yourself for her.

Optimist

If you love someone, set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.

Patient

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back.

Playful

If you love someone, set her free ...
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat*

C++ Programmer

if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Lawyers

If you love someone, set her free ...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that ...

Bill Gates

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist

If you love someone, set her free ...
She'll evolve.

Statisticians

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Schwarzenegger's fans

If you love someone, set her free ...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physician

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician

If you love someone, set her free ...
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Submitted by Dory, Pittsburg, Pa.
 

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This may come as a surprised to those not living in Las Vegas ...

... but there are more Catholic Churches then Casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday mass will give casino chips rather then cash when the basket is passed

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all the collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and chased in...

This is dome by the Chip Monks ...

Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
 

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A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season ...

...decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.  Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a time."

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

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And you thought your job was hazardous! Take 6

Submitted by Lindsay, Melbourne, Australia
 

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