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Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
Bubba said, "Shingles."
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, "Shingles."
So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, "Shingles."
So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, "Shingles."
The doctor asked, "Where?"
Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want them?"
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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| A university committee was selecting a new dean.
They had narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer.
Each was asked this question during their interview: "How much is two plus two?"
The mathematician answered immediately, "Four."
The economist thought for several minutes and finally answered, "Four, plus or minus one."
Finally the lawyer stood up, peered around the room and motioned silently for the committee members to gather close to him. In a hushed, conspiratorial tone, he
replied, "How much do you want it to be?"
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Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"
The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: "I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!".
Philosopher smiles: "But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?"
Logician replies: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."
The sociologist: "I don't know, but is was nice talking about it".
Behavioral Ecologist: "A polygamous mating system".
Medical Student: "4"
All others looking astonished: "How did you know?"
Medical Student: "I memorized it."
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about Work, My
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A jeweler called the police station to report a robbery.
"You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the
jewelry and climbed back into the truck. The doors closed and the truck pulled away."
The desk sergeant said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"
"What's the difference?" asked the jeweler.
"Well," said the sergeant, an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."
"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said the jeweler. "He had a stocking over his head."
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| My wife and I were at my high school reunion.
As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive suits...and their bulging stomachs.
Proud of the fact that I weighed just five pounds more than I did when I was in high school, the result of trying to beat a living out of a rocky hillside farm, I said
to my wife, "I'm the only guy here who can still wear the suit he wore when he graduated."
She glanced at the well-dressed crowd, then back at me, and said, "You're the only one who has to."
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Captain USS Montana - Download Video
Submitted by Lindsay, Melbourne, Australia
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Magazine Ads of yesteryear - take 1
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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