|
|
|
| |
| At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Clean Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
| A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver... ... who has more crowns. He says to an angel, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation."
The angel says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?"
The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep."
The angel says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed!"
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Religious
Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
A journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse...
..., "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."
Submitted by Ray, King of Prussia, Pa.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of
Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
|
T'was the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.
Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, PA.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Christmas Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
| If my nose was running money ... Download Video Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, PA.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Audio/Videos, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Submitted by Dewey, Pensacola, Fl. |
|
Return to: Top of Page, List of Photos, My Little Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Jan 23rd Humor Page
|
|