• You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
• You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
• Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
• You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.
• You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.
• You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Cumbaya..
• You keep repeating yourself.
• You start video taping daytime game shows.
• At the airport, they ask to check your bags...and you're not carrying any luggage.
• You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.
• Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.
• At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
• Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
• When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out.
• One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
• Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
• You keep repeating yourself.
• It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
• You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
• You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
• You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
• You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
• You look both ways before crossing a room.
• Your social security number only has three digits.
• You keep repeating yourself.
• You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
• You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.
• You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.
• The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed."
• At parties you attend, "regularity" is considered the topic of choice.

• I am very detail-oreinted.
• My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
• Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
• Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.
• It's best for employers that I not work with people.
• Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
• I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.
• If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.
• My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.
• You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!
• I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.
• Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.
• Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date.
• Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.
• Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.
• Previous experience: Self-employed--a fiasco.
• Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.
• My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.
• Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.
• I am a rabid typist.
• Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.
• I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
• Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.
• Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
• Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.
• Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
• Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.
• I worked as a Corporate Lesion.
• Special Skills: Speak English.
• Served as assistant sore manager.
• Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.
• Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
• Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts.
• Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis

So she drove the boat to shore.