Humor Additions for Friday, April 18th


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 Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from the Easter Bunny
  • Don't put all your eggs in one basket
  • The best things in life are still sweet and gooey
  • Walk softly and carry a big car rot (carat)
  • Good things come in small sugarcoated packages
  • Everyone needs a friend who is all ears
  • There's no such thing as too much candy
  • Keep your paws off other people's jelly beans
  • Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day
  • All work and no play can make you a basket case
  • A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention
  • The grass is always greener in someone else's basket
  • An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare
  • To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell
  • Some body parts should be floppy
  • Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits

Happy Easter!

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.
 

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Young Joanne, the editor of a news publication, was having trouble with her computer.

So she called Tim, the computer guy, over to her desk. Tim clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, Joanne called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

A puzzled expression ran riot over Joanne's face. "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again??"

He gave her a grin. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," replied Joanne.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T

Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, Md.
 

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A friend of mine is an officer in the naval reserve.

A few weeks ago, He was attending a conference that included admirals in both the US and the French navies. At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included an admiral from each of the two navies.

The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English. He then asked. "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you have to speak French?"

Without even hesitating, the American admiral replied. "Maybe it is because we arranged it so that you did not have to learn to speak German."

The group became silent.

Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.
 

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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says ...

..., "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent.  As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.

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April 16th Humor Page