... and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

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• Many hamsters blink one eye at a time.
• Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world.
• Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter "e."
• Bulls are color blind.
• A can of Spam is opened every four seconds.
• "Babe" was played by over 48 pigs.
• Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.
• The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2,200 people.
• The largest cabbage on record weighed 144 pounds.
• Kidney stones come in any color­from yellow to brown.
• The McDonalds at the SkyDome in Toronto, Ontario is the only one in the world that sells hot dogs.
• The first episode of "Leave it to Beaver" aired on October 4, 1957.
• The first flushing toilet seen on TV was on Leave it to Beaver. (However, only the tank was shown, not the bowl.)
• Jerry Seinfeld's apartment number (on the show) is 5A. In the old episodes it was 3A.
• The shortest commercial ever was only four frames of a second.
• Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits. The billionth digit in Pi is 9.
• Babies are born without kneecaps. They appear when the child is 2-6 years of age.
• An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
• A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
• A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
• A group of owls is called a parliament.
• A group of ravens is called a murder.
• Twelve or more cows is called a "flink."
• The average garden-variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
• Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button for it was eliminated during surgery.
• The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime.
• A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
• Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit.
• The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
• Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie.
• The pound sign (#) is called an octothorpe.
• Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.
• Emus can't walk backwards.
• New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states.
• There was once a town in West Virginia called "6."
• Singapore only has one train station.
• Napoleon made his battle plans in a sandbox.
• The green stuff on the occasional freak potato chip is chlorophyll.
• If you ate too many carrots you would turn orange.
• The force of one billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT.
• Howdy Doody had 48 freckles.
• The only President to win a Pulitzer Prize was John Kennedy for "Profiles in Courage."
• The world's youngest parents were eight and nine and lived in China in 1910.
• The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
• "Hang on Sloopy" is the official rock song of Ohio.
• The airplane Buddy Holly died in was a Beech Bonanza.
• When opossums are "playing 'possum," they are not playing. They actually pass out from sheer terror.
• The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
• Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them would burn their houses down­hence the expression "to get fired."
• Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The last signature wasn't added until five years later.
• The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
• In every episode of "Seinfeld" there is a Superman somewhere.
• The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
• No NFL team that plays its home games in a domed stadium ever won a Superbowl­until the St. Louis Rams in 2000.
• The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

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Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."

The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."

The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."

The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"

Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."

Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
 

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Submitted by Bruce, Cold Harbor, Ill.
 

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Submitted by former Emmitsburg Mayor Ed!
 

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Submitted by Jim, Gettysburg, PA.
 

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March 11th Humor Page