Humor Additions for Friday, April 5


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The preacher noticed little Billy was staring up at the plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. 

It was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the preacher walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly: "Good morning, Billy."

"Good morning, Preacher," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Preacher, what is this?"

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died while in the service."

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the plaque.

Little Billy's voice was barely audible when he asked: "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:00?"

Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.
  

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Murray was sitting in a pub in Ireland one afternoon ...

... sharing his thoughts with a stranger sitting by his side.

"Ay," said Murray, after sipping his drink, "Ya see that fence down thar' by the roooad. Ay, I built that fence, I did, every slat and every poost, I built."

He took another drink and continued, "Boot 'ya doon't hear 'em callin' me 'Murray the fence builder' now, do 'ya." He shook his head and paused for a moment, then pointed out the window.

"Ay, and 'ya see that there lighthouse down by the beach. Ay, I built that lighthouse, laid every brick woon by woon, ay, I did."

He took a drink. "But 'ya doon't hear anywoon callin' me 'Murray the lighthouse builder,' do 'ya, now."

The man rolled his eyes, but Murray continued after another drink. "Ay, and that dock down thar, that dock I built by myself, I did, woon booard at a time, ay, I built it. But 'ya don't every hear anyboody callin' me 'Murray the dock builder,' do 'ya."

He stared into his drink before taking another long swallow.

Ay, but 'ya fall asleap naykid just once in a gooat pen . . ."

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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Subject: Airline solution

Federal Aviation Agency
800 Independence Avenue S.W.
Washington D.C. 20591

Dear Sirs;

I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet.

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, everyone in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing a naked woman. We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales.

Now why didn't Congress think of this?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.
 

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There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. 

As they were studying Chapter Three, they came across Verse Three which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver". This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.

That week this woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silver smith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse, that says, "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver". She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silver smith, how do you know when the silver is fully refined? He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part--when I see my image reflected in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep His hand on you and watch over you until He sees His image in you.

Be Blessed & Be a Blessing !!!!!

Submitted by Vicki, Kennet Square, PA.
 

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